Why do I feel this way?

Why do I feel like this I'm so confused I've tried to figure out if is becuz I'm bisex or lesbian I seen to keep confusing friendship with my best girl mate as something different, and my ex-boyfriend makes me feel like I am completely disgusted by him by his every little move I just can't stand him its like when he ever goes near me I fink I mite throw up or something and he turns me completely off. But other times I just gotta be near him or around him or something and I can't get enough of him it's strange. I broke up with him a last July but I went trough like this manic phases when we were nearing the end of our relationship were I had to get rid of everything of him it was bizarre. I put all my clothes in the washing machine about 10 times and waz still convinced I could smell him on them it made me sick wth?. Then I started spraying everything to get ride of the smell. He never and still doesn't noe any of this. We r still gd friends but have this weird sort of relationship like our old 1 is not finished or something we still occasionally mess around that iz when I am not completely and utterly revolted by him it doesn't help that he is a complete dick and still seening other girls. Other times it's like I'm not attracted to any man and unintentional I hit on my best mate fortunately she didn't realise wat waz happening